if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
