He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
