whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
