It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
