i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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