The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
