Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
