so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
