two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
