the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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