Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
tell me about the fingering
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
