I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
