Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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