Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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