Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
