they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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