3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
