It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
