i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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