I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
