Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
