u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
