I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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