Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
