Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
