First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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