Sry I called you an 8
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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