Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
