a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
