My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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