He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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