Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think your dad took our porno
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
