Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
