i would punch a child for taco bell
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
