I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
