needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
