I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
