you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
