I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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