I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
