from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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