I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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