You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
