yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
