Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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