You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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