exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
