I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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