Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
