D3 body, D1 cock
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
